Little Life Lists are for the complicated, unruly things life throws at us. I encourage you to write your own, too. With coffee. xoxo
Oh, I love the idea. Long days of writing with the occasional walk thrown in. Food served to me (on gold platters by hot guys?! Okay, okay, I don’t need that.)
What is a retreat, really?
It doesn’t have to mean yoga mats and mountaintops. A retreat can be as simple as closing a door. It’s a stepping away—from the laundry, the inbox, the scroll. A retreat is time you carve out on purpose. I like to think of it as time with a border around it and I remind myself I don’t have to go far (so I don’t get frustrated!)
Even two hours can be enough. Even half an hour. Whether it lasts a short time in a spare bedroom or several days at a cabin, a retreat offers:
Separation – physical or psychological distance from usual surroundings.
Intention – a clear purpose, such as deep writing, rest, or creative reset.
Containment – simple rituals and boundaries (a schedule, a chosen place, limited devices) that make the time feel distinct and safeguarded.
Re‑entry – a planned return to normal life, ideally carrying fresh energy, insight, or progress.
Offerings for retreats are everywhere online, BUT at this phase of my life, I can’t go. You?
I’m a writer, so my ideal retreat is rooted in hours of writing and features (much as I adore my kids) no small humans. You may simply need to step outside your orbit for a tiny window to BREATHE. But for whatever reason, it’s not possible now (or maybe ever). So, I’m hoping that together we can find some ways to carve out a little time. A little space. Below are some questions for you to ask yourself—let’s do this together.
Separation: Where can you go when you can’t leave?
A spare room? A pair of headphones? A walk with the dog around the block? Twenty-four hours in a motel? Even asking this question sometimes reveals a place you haven’t been able to see. Consider what’s possible…
Intention: Note down what you’d like a retreat to feel like.
Here are some questions to help:
What do you most need right now—focus, rest, inspiration, or momentum?
This helps you shape the purpose of your retreat and choose activities for you.How much uninterrupted time can you realistically carve out?
Your retreat doesn’t have to be a whole weekend—two focused hours can work wonders if you’re intentional.What small rituals will signal this time is special?
A candle, a playlist, a walk before you start—tiny cues can transform your mindset and make the space feel sacred.
When I look at my answers, I want a window of time that is distraction free. I want to work on a specific area of my writing. I want some physical activity. And I do NOT want to cook. Not for me or for anyone.
My asks aren’t huge but, even a couple of years ago, they were beyond what’s possible. One of my sons has severe anxiety and the repercussions of being absent in any way were so huge I couldn’t step away. Not even for a few hours. Everything—work, admin, household management—needed to fit somehow. But now, some days (not all), I can step away for a few hours.
Containment
You might light a candle. Turn off your phone. Set a timer. Give yourself a beginning and an end, something, so that what happens in between feels different. Sharper. Quieter. Yours.
A retreat is space to listen—to an idea, a sentence, your own mind. It’s a pause that might just hold a breakthrough.
Re-entry: Time to return
At the end of a workday, I go through a checklist. It’s a transition back into family life. These transitions are really important for me, helping me show up in a more peaceful way. I invite you to think about what might help you shift gears for after you’ve had time away. What would make it easier to return? Is there anything you can do before you retreat to make coming back simpler?
A retreat is gives your time to step back to step forward. Could you tell me if you’ve ever been on one, or if you’re planning a little moment away from it all in these next few months?
Also, quick ask—if this is helpful for you and you’re reading in the Substack App, could you share it with someone else who might find it helpful too?
If you’re new here, my name is Alice Kuipers and I’m a writer, mother and dog & cat-owner transplanted twenty years ago to the Canadian prairies from England. I’ve published fourteen books in 36 countries and my writing has been described as: “For storytellers and story lovers,” by Kirkus Reviews; ‘Gorgeous, heart-ripping, important,” by VOYA; and “Intense and wonderful” by Bif Naked. Join me for coffee breaks, book conversations, and to share my writing life together.
Xoxo
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