Wonderful! So gently written, so calm, and yet so seductive! If that makes sense at all. What you wrote about being silent and listening - I feel this in your writing. You have been silent in your head and allowed the words to come in gently, and softly. Sounds a bit mad when I write this, but when I think for words to describe this bit of writing, I get calm, quiet, complete, and I want to know more about the detective! Not so much about the victim. But I know from this section that I will enjoy the rest of the book.
And I am under no illusion that you just threw these words onto the page - they were delicately crafted, with the meaning and feeling of each word, very carefully considered! And you went over them and over them until they were just perfect and said exactly what you wanted them to say, with no hint of possibility that the reader might misinterpret what you wanted to say. :-)
Hi Justine, your words feel even more calm and soft, even I can't hear how you'd chant and chew your own gentleness, the softest touch is all in the air!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. This draft took a lot of steps to get onto the page--and working through the version of the book I'm on now is taking a long time, too. I appreciate you!
I am a retired teacher of writing. I love what you are saying about the importance of listening and silence. I would tell my students, you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. It's important to listen not only to each other but also to your thoughts. I love the feeling you have created at the beginning of this story. I love the idea of knowing what are her secrets and her story. Beautiful.
Thank you, Lois. I read this over this morning. Two ears and one mouth is such a sweet yet powerful reminder for me (and my kids). I appreciate your words.
Wow—what a powerful opening! Especially the moment when he thinks of his daughter away at university, and his need to call her later. Thanks so much for sharing the excerpt here.
Chills! Can’t wait to read the rest.
Thanks!
Wonderful! So gently written, so calm, and yet so seductive! If that makes sense at all. What you wrote about being silent and listening - I feel this in your writing. You have been silent in your head and allowed the words to come in gently, and softly. Sounds a bit mad when I write this, but when I think for words to describe this bit of writing, I get calm, quiet, complete, and I want to know more about the detective! Not so much about the victim. But I know from this section that I will enjoy the rest of the book.
And I am under no illusion that you just threw these words onto the page - they were delicately crafted, with the meaning and feeling of each word, very carefully considered! And you went over them and over them until they were just perfect and said exactly what you wanted them to say, with no hint of possibility that the reader might misinterpret what you wanted to say. :-)
Hi Justine, your words feel even more calm and soft, even I can't hear how you'd chant and chew your own gentleness, the softest touch is all in the air!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. This draft took a lot of steps to get onto the page--and working through the version of the book I'm on now is taking a long time, too. I appreciate you!
I am a retired teacher of writing. I love what you are saying about the importance of listening and silence. I would tell my students, you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. It's important to listen not only to each other but also to your thoughts. I love the feeling you have created at the beginning of this story. I love the idea of knowing what are her secrets and her story. Beautiful.
Thank you, Lois. I read this over this morning. Two ears and one mouth is such a sweet yet powerful reminder for me (and my kids). I appreciate your words.
Amazing...the goose bumps have bumps.
This made me smile.
Wow—what a powerful opening! Especially the moment when he thinks of his daughter away at university, and his need to call her later. Thanks so much for sharing the excerpt here.