I thought about my own funeral/death a couple of months ago at my friend's funeral. She was Israeli and yet she was buried in the cold Canadian soil. As we watched her coffin being lowered into the ground, covered in snow, my German friend and I looked at each other and had the same thought: I don't want to be buried in Canada! I came home and informed my family that if I should die early, I would like to be cremated and for my ashes to be scattered in the sea, so "I could carry on travelling." No fuss. No ceremony. Hopefully I have done enough so I can continue to live on in their memory. I should add that my daughters were not too crazy about this idea...
This is really interesting. For years, I had the same feeling about being buried here. But recently I've had a shift and I think I'd like my ashes taken to a lake I love nearby. It reminds me to do this work more than once, and to review it. My connections to the UK have both deepened and slid away, so I don't know which place I'd choose there. But. I do have a fierce sense of home for my life there, too. I love your line about 'carrying on travelling' xoxox
You know it's funny, I actually said to my husband the other day, you need to leave me your instructions in French because I had this panic if he died in another country someone else would take over when I don't have the language and it wouldn't be what he wanted. But I didn't even think about what I might need or want. Thank you for the thoughtful prompting.
Thank you, Lucy. It’s not something which has answers quickly, for me, at least, even in my only language. We’ve been doing a lot of this work with our families because we were left with a huge gap when one of our parents died with no clarity to his wishes, or those for his wife who has advanced Alzheimer’s. It’s made a hard journey harder. And the moment of saying goodbye, that event, is important, I believe.
I thought about my own funeral/death a couple of months ago at my friend's funeral. She was Israeli and yet she was buried in the cold Canadian soil. As we watched her coffin being lowered into the ground, covered in snow, my German friend and I looked at each other and had the same thought: I don't want to be buried in Canada! I came home and informed my family that if I should die early, I would like to be cremated and for my ashes to be scattered in the sea, so "I could carry on travelling." No fuss. No ceremony. Hopefully I have done enough so I can continue to live on in their memory. I should add that my daughters were not too crazy about this idea...
This is really interesting. For years, I had the same feeling about being buried here. But recently I've had a shift and I think I'd like my ashes taken to a lake I love nearby. It reminds me to do this work more than once, and to review it. My connections to the UK have both deepened and slid away, so I don't know which place I'd choose there. But. I do have a fierce sense of home for my life there, too. I love your line about 'carrying on travelling' xoxox
You know it's funny, I actually said to my husband the other day, you need to leave me your instructions in French because I had this panic if he died in another country someone else would take over when I don't have the language and it wouldn't be what he wanted. But I didn't even think about what I might need or want. Thank you for the thoughtful prompting.
Thank you, Lucy. It’s not something which has answers quickly, for me, at least, even in my only language. We’ve been doing a lot of this work with our families because we were left with a huge gap when one of our parents died with no clarity to his wishes, or those for his wife who has advanced Alzheimer’s. It’s made a hard journey harder. And the moment of saying goodbye, that event, is important, I believe.
xox
Death is Nothing At All by Henry Scott Holland. I find it so comforting, and it even makes me smile.
Thank you so much, Maria ❤️