63 Comments

Hi there. I just found you through David Roberts from Sparks from Culture. What a nice surprise to find another Canadian here! I'm on the west coast, living on the water in a downsized house, with my dog and hubby keeping me company. Three grown kids, three grandkids and both a parent and in-law with dementia (and not living with us, but caregiving all the same.) So many great things to read on this platform that sometimes I feel I'm taking an extended coffee break! But, after decades of working way to hard for too long, I'm ok with that. Happy to meet you and look forward to reading and being part of your newsletter community.

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Lovely to have you here, Kim. And thanks for telling me a little bit about your full life. I'm sitting in the back room of my house, a dog curled up next to me and a wild blizzard outside. Looking forward to curling up with a good book later.

Welcome!

Alice

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Hello Alice. - I love this post. Thank you. Gratitude is important to me. The authentic not sucking up kind.

My name is Danusia [Da-noo-shuh]. I live on the edge of Exmoor in a house surrounded by fields full of sheep. I work in London and where hired.

-When I have a few minutes to myself I plot interior decorating projects. I’m committed to upcycling and adore vintage finds.

-A book I love is “Dangerous Ideas About Mothers” edited by Camilla Nelson & Rachel Robertson. Or the London Review of Books compendium of personal ads called “They call me Naughty Lola”, for a giggle.

-My substack is Parents Who Think. https://danusiamalinaderben.substack.com

🪩

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Thank you so much for taking time to write this. I'll head to your Substack after I've done some work today and take a look. And I'm definitely going to add Dangerous Ideas about Mothers to my #tbr pile (which is growing in a beautiful way!)

My dad and his wife live on Dartmoor so I have a little experience of the beauty of moor life. He rides and walks and sometimes we get to join him, the sheep, the wild horses, the rain, the magic....

I, too, adore vintage finds. Upcycling seems like something I'd like but I'm not sure I'm patient enough yet--writing teaches me patience, as does parenting, but that type of work will come in a different season for me, I think.

Thanks again for stopping by. It's good to have you here!

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What a lovely reply Alice! No urgency to reply.

Just wanted to say upcycling can be little, like sourcing bits of art and painting the frame. Voila a new piece.

Or some leopard print flock popped on a sad side table that takes all of 15 mins to throw together.

‘Fraid my season means I’m in the thick of parenting and oodles too so I only get a few mins where I can!! I wanted to say SNAP!

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Hi, I'm Jeff in the Chicagoland, USA area... Im a father of a 15 year old son, and 7 year old BlackLab/AussieShepard..I live Coffee and Nature... My quiet times, U can find Maya and Me wandering the woods and lakes in the area. Great thread, I'm proud to be here to say Hi

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Wonderful to have you here. I'm dreaming now of walking in the woods and alongside lakes. It's minus 36 today so I've managed very few steps outside in the blinding cold!

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Wow and I thought my 6 degrees was cold, perhaps, you refer to Fahrenheit..nontheless, Hi back and be safe where U are. . 😊

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Nope, that is -36 celsius. Super cold!

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And Drink Coffee! Lol 🐺 ☕️ 🌞

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Yes, warming up with one now!

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Gosh our lives have quite a few similarities. I also am a mom, wife, and dog owner. My 5yo has ADHD and was just diagnosed in October Soo all of that is new to me. I also had to be a caregiver for my mom, who had kidney failure. She lost her battle in May 2021 but she made sure to leave me with an apartment and a good man. Because of her we met and were engaged three weeks later. We were married on 6/19/24. I live in NYC and have loved here all 35 years of my life. I currently am a stay at home mom and I'm using that time to write a collection of personal essays based on all the addresses I've had here in NY. I look forward to vibing,venting, and celebrating with you ☺️

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My condolences on the loss of your mom--I love that she left you with a good man and an apartment. And I hope things are going okay (ish!) with your 5 year old. My 11 year old is definitely less prone to tantrums but we still have a lot of day-to-day things to deal with. It'll be lovely to connect on here to read, celebrate and get through it all together. Thanks for coming by and for taking time to write to me here. xoxoxox

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Hello from Moose Jaw! My husband and I returned to my hometown a couple of years ago. Yes, people do move east to Saskatchewan sometimes. I write about ordinary life—which isn’t so ordinary upon examination after all. Wonder abounds and miracles are waiting to be discovered when we pay attention. I am (in no particular order, and at this present time) a writer, photographer, needle felter, Yorkie mom, wife, mom, and grandma.

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I enjoy going to Moose Jaw so much! Such a lovely part of the world—with such a brilliant writing festival!!!

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And thank you for taking time to come and say hi here xoxox

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YES to the writing festival!!

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Hi there! My name is Sue and I live in Cornwall, in Falmouth part of the time and I also spend long weekends with my partner who lives on the Lizard. I am the author of two novels; The Rescue and Lainy’s Tale, both narrated by woman’s best friend, terrier Moll. I have also written five literary themed Cornish walks books. My third novel will be out early next year and I’m making notes on Book Four. I love reading and order many books from the library, who also provide books for our book group which I’ve been attending for over 20 years. I sing in a fabulous choir called The Suitcase Singers and love exploring around Cornwall when I take photos which I turn into greeting cards. I also love going to he cinema and theatre and embrace the unexpected!

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Hi Sue, welcome here. That sounds like a beautiful life, filled with writing, singing and walking. And photos. I love the sound of your novels--I have a small, sweet Havanese here, who is looking at me with adoration and hope right now. Thanks for taking time to say hi and share how you've made a writing life for yourself--and keep me updated about book three and book four. Amazing!

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Hi Alice! Alex F (bro-in-law&poet&super Dad) told me i should reach out and this seems like a nice place to do it! Funnily enough I’m also from England, from a little village called Long Bennington in the ‘shire’ …. Fast forward a ‘30 years’ and i now live in a cabin on a ski resort in the Canadian prairies (this is always fun to tell people!) with a life mission to promote love, good health and happiness through laughing wellness, music and the performing arts. I too love vast skies ;-)

Synchronicity has been a large part of my life and acting on universal signs is my favorite game to play! So much so that 6 years ago someone told me that laughing yoga changed their life… so i now teach it! (my 5 year old child was my ‘mirror’ at the time…. i’ve always said she is my true teacher! )

2 and a half years ago someone told me i should write a kids book about laughing wellness, so i did and there are currently 200 copies on a purulator truck headed my direction! Lol.

Taking the original spark of a suggestion and bringing together an illustrated children's book has been a long adventure/exploration for me but i guess it has only just begun as the book is released and vibrations ripple through the world of the readers! Feeling nervous is feeling excited hey??!

Anyway i love how you use this as a space to be seen, connect and breathe. As a newbie to the ‘author’ world this is really comforting.

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Good to hear from you here and by text! Congratulations on your new book. It's a journey for sure. Good luck with the book being out in the world--do keep me updated. My best advice is to work on the next one and let this one lead to good conversations and connections...Maybe the ripples be deep and wide.

xox

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Did you get my text?! I hope that the WiR is helpful?!

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Hi! Happy Summer equinox. Indeed i did.. i’ve been in contact with MB writers guild and they help with book launch events for new authors… I’m hopeful that will springboard me forward to new horizons!

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Oh good!!! I’m glad you found a useful connection. That’s great!

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Yep, indeed… i realise now that being an indie author is very much like being a independent songwriter…. You also need to become a salesperson, distributor, positivity guru, self love advocate, admin assistant, stock manager, book keeper, social media editor, time planner, IT expert and events organizer.

I received some useful promotion training through my publisher and have some Amazon ebook codes i can give out…. Though this leads to an overwhelming new world of fishing for book reviews on instagram, in facebook groups and on goodreads! If you want a ebook code let me know ha ha!

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It’s a lot of work, although often with traditional publishing that’s also the case now, too. I’d love to read the book! I’m heading into summer so no guarantees of quick reading times (kids plus no school = challenge!)

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Hello from Upstate NY, coffee in hand. I live in the Hudson Valley with my wife (also an English transplant) and our two kids (16 & 13). I found you through Victoria of Carer Mentor.

I recently saw two parents through back-to-back dementia, and then their deaths about a year apart. I initially joined Substack to maybe write about longevity, health & wellness, but it's really shifted since to be more about how we can find and share meaning while we're here, and perhaps quite a bit about loss and grief, too. It's here: https://www.thisverymoment.com/

Oh, books... I loved Demon Copperhead, which I recently read after my wife told me for two years I'd love it. I've now just started The Vaster Wilds, another rec from her that's taken me nearly as long, and is perhaps even more brilliant. I don't know why it takes me this long to realize she's always right about these things, but that is my reading pattern!

Very glad to have found your writing here.

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Thanks for all this, Rob. I am following you now and I look forward to your updates. I was 1000 percent sure I replied to this, but perhaps it was a dream!? My condolences on your losses. And thank you for the book suggestions--I haven't read either yet. Both appeal (and intimidate! Something about Demon Copperhead, which my partner was talking about reading, too, holds me back. I might just need more brain power than I feel I have in June!)

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DC is a very intimidating size, and sat on my nightstand forever due to that. It's gripping and non-taxing enough for June, I think... but maybe not the size of book one wants to be lugging around in warmer weather. I will say, Kingsolver gets trauma so right... and yet there's enough humor and wit to keep it really enjoyable.

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I’ll put it in my summer suitcase….

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Hi Alice,

My poetry teacher and dear friend Stephanie Bolster recommended your Substack to me, as I believe she has recommended my Substack to you. Reading your 'about' page it is easy to see why... :)

I am a huge, huge fan of poetry and even write some, but prefer to call myself more generally as a 'writer'. My first love was/is the theatre and I think I saw almost everything that was staged at The Royal Court Theatre between 1997-2006, as well as other plays while I lived in London. I wrote some plays too, until I travelled to India where I met my now ex-husband and became a mother. I live in Montreal and raise two teenage daughters as a single mother. I am currently working on a book on motherhood and domestic violence, "You are a Mother Now," with surprisingly more poems than prose (Stephanie's fault). I keep happy by reading in the six languages that I speak and I have a soft spot for Italian. Dante's Divine Comedy (in Italian) kept me sane during the pandemic. Currently I am reading "Los cien mejores poemas de amor de la lingua castellana". It is part of my "sacred coffee" ritual, first thing in the morning. Oh, and I also spell 'mum' the British way. One more thing we share in common. Delight to find you here! Imola

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I’m so happy to connect with you on here—and to be reading your work. Stephanie did indeed send one of your essays over and I’m loving what you’re doing. Your book sounds fascinating—I’ll keep an eye out for it as I follow along with your adventures. ❤️

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Same here Alice!

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Hiya Alice, Sarah here and I live in Fremantle (West Oz).

Mum, granny, ADHDer, working 3 days a week in a hospital and following my crazy heart for the other 4.

I have a mountain of favourite books, TBR books and books that I dip in and out of, but if you ask me to think of any of them or choose a favourite, I will probably head down some wormhole thinking about it, get distracted and then realise that a few hours have gone by 😂.

I also tinker around the edges of writing, another “one day” thing.

My Mum was from Norfolk, UK, and my Dad from county Durham, UK. I have been to visit there a few times - would like to have more time there but the time / money seesaw prevents it. Maybe when I retire (plan is in 18 months).

Anyway! Sending sunshine from the southern hemisphere 🌞, until the darkness of the cold months hits 😩.

🌻

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I love this hello and will reply properly—promise. Travelling with four children right now which is lovely and wild and means everything writerly is background. Welcome here ❤️

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Haha! I get it! I have 4 kids too (and now 6 grandkids!).

No stress ☺️

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Back and just about settled in after The Return... which requires capital letters! Happy travelling when you get there and hopefully before that you get some writing done. I enjoyed your message a lot. I love the crazy heart following for 'the other four days'. That seems like a great title for a Substack essay or publication!

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I'm a writer and marketer living in Saskatoon, Sask., where I ride my bicycle everywhere, even in the winter. In my spare time, I like to read, play video games, practice yoga, and do sports like soccer, dodgeball and ultimate. Some of my favourite books that I look forward to re-reading are Winter of Fire by Sherryl Jordan (young adult fantasy), The Sharing Knife series by Lois McMaster Bujold (romantasy), and The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold (science fiction / space opera).

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I love the term romatansy and have been hearing it more and more over the last year, so I'm happy to have this suggestion for me to try. Thank you, Ashleigh, for the lovely message, the support, and for your great book, which I took to the cabin with me and read over while looking at the lake. xox

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The first book in the Sharing Knife series was written in 2006, before romantasy was a word, but it fits perfectly into that genre!

Hope you enjoyed the book and thanks so much for YOUR support, haha

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It’s term I’ve only started to hear over the last year (maybe?) but I bet loads of books for it. Have you read Tasha Suri?

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No, but I just looked her up and it's right up my alley!

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Thank you for sharing Alice. I never underestimate the value of a good view, and it looks like you have a great one. I’m sure much inspiration and many ideas come while staring out at the world. I tip my coffee to you now. :-)

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Thanks so much, Mike. It is a great view--magic. This is where I get to spend time in summer and when we slip away from the city with the kids. Ideas and inspiration definitely arrive to me there--once, I was night swimming in that lake alone, and I never thought I'd do that. I appreciate the view in a way that comes from spending time in the space outside, tugging up little weeds from the sand, pushing one of my kids from the dock, taking a billion photos of the sunset.

It's good to have you here!

Alice xox

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Thank you :)

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That all just sounds perfect. Enjoy.

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Hello Alice. - I love this post. Thank you. Gratitude is important to me. The authentic not sucking up kind.

My name is Danusia [Da-noo-shuh]. I live on the edge of Exmoor in a house surrounded by fields full of sheep. I work in London and where hired.

-When I have a few minutes to myself I plot interior decorating projects. I’m committed to upcycling and adore vintage finds.

-A book I love is “Dangerous Ideas About Mothers” edited by Camilla Nelson & Rachel Robertson. Or the London Review of Books compendium of personal ads called “They call me Naughty Lola”, for a giggle.

-My substack is Parents Who Think. https://danusiamalinaderben.substack.com

🪩

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Dangerous Ideas about Mothers APPEALS! Can't wait.

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(And I see I replied earlier, which is what I remembered, but your comment has reappeared reminding me that I still want to read this book!)

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Alice,

When you taught me at Sage Hill Teen Writing Experience, in one activity you had us circle all the phrasing errors in a short excerpt. I circled "grab a coffee" and declared it should be "grab a cup of coffee".

It's time for me to "come in from the cold", grab a coffee and admit -- I was wrong!!

P. S. I really enjoyed your essay from Nov 30, "A Crack in Everything". You've got me shining a new light on my own imperfect offerings.

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You are right that it CAN be 'grab a cup of coffee' and this is what I love so much about writing. You get to choose what feels good for you on the page, so if you want to rewrite as 'grab a cup of coffee' that's perfect. And I'm going to think about it now, too, because I could go either way. For a title, shorter is nice, right? And I've been weighing up the word 'grab' which I don't love--it has an aggressive and sticky feeling to me.

What I decided with this was to get something up on the page so people knew what this Substack was, while I'm still figuring it out myself. Again, the magic of writing.

I hope you're writing still, William. I remember you as someone who cares about words and who has a terrific imagination and ability.

Thank you so much for getting me thinking and playing with this title over again in my mind (in a good way) today. It's cold outside, but I'm warming up with a cup of coffee and your words.

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Thanks for the kind words! I only do a bit of creative writing these days, but it's there waiting for me.

You're reminding me of the joy of editing! I thought about the title a bit:

- "grab/get a coffee": a bit punchy as you said.

- "make/pour/brew a coffee": a bit softer but only works if they are making their own.

- "bring a coffee": welcoming! e.g. "bring a coffee, stay a while".

I think "grab a coffee and join me" is still best though, because it is unpretentious and to the point! It doesn't sound aggressive to me.

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Bring a coffee is nice, too. I like that make/pour/brew are softer to your mind. I think you're right. I tried Pour and Make before I first posted, but leaned over. I've spent a lot of years learning how to enjoy the editorial process, but I've always liked this part. The slow play of words.

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Hi, Alice! This post did help me take a deep breath and relax my shoulders, thank you. This articulates much of why I am here on Substack. I want to find others who love words and who are doing their part to make meaning and connect with others on the journey! I quietly came to Subby two years ago in hopes of writing more and being braver about sharing it. I launched Heart's Content with the desire to write about creativity, community, and contemplation and where they intersect in healing our stories. I mostly post personal essays about whatever happens to be in my heart, and for the past year, I have been slowly working along on a memoir. I have FAR TOO MANY books on my bedside table. Right now I am reading Body Work by Melissa Febos and 1000 Words by Jami Attenberg. I am a retired actor/teacher/creative and live in Northern Colorado in a little town named Loveland. So happy to connect! PS I chose your proposed headline for today's post - thank you! https://marythoma.substack.com/p/the-answer-is-always-the-bath

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Oooh, I love 1000 words but I don't know Body Work and so will look it up. Thank you.

The name of your town strikes me as somewhat magical, to be honest. And I love that you live in Loveland and you're writing a memoir. I believe that memoir is a beautiful way to get to know ourselves by connecting with others--similar to the way that a personal essay helps us know more about who we are by the end. I'm going to look up your Substck now, thank you. And THEN get to my novel.

Warmest thanks for reaching out. I'm happy to have you here xox

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Hi Alice - I love this: 'making a space here for all of us to press pause, feel seen, and connect with other like-minded people'. It aligns with my favourite quote by Viktor Frank: 'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.'

I'm Victoria at Carer Mentor: Empathy & Inspiration https://www.carermentor.com/. As a caregiver, virtual support and connection are essential to feel less isolated and to feel seen.

2 books I'm reading Susan David's 'Emotional Agility' (the 4th/5th reading) and one I'm savouring slowly 'Wonderworks: Literary Invention and the Science of Stories' by Angus Fletcher.

In the limited me-time in the day, I journal or write or do some mindful meditation to appreciate the small moments.

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I love that you took time to write this for me. Thank you! I appreciate your work on Substack and love what you offer for people who caregiver. And I'm really looking forward to these books you suggest.

I manage most days to meditate for a few minutes before the kids get up. It really helps.

That space. What a great line. Thanks so much. I'm going to think about it over now.

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I was drawn to write and share this, and happy to be here. The quote is from Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning' something that I highly recommend everyone reads once in their life, and the earlier the better. It's painful, and awe-inspiring.

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Thank you. I have never read it and so maybe now is the time. xox

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Maybe Susan David's Emotional Agility first. Frankl's book is painful in places. Just thinking about your energy ❤️

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