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Bernie L Cruikshank's avatar

I read this and wanted to think about my response and then it got put aside. Friendship is such a deep subject. It can fill us up or tear us down sometimes. I have a friendship than span 65 years and although we don't see each other often we share a deep connection that can never be broken. Despite what happens around us. I have let go of friendships and I have tried to revive some friendships but it didn't work. But it is work and it is a two way street and sometimes we all just get busy living life. But I know for me the pandemic made me push hard to stay connected. Then I used the word connect last year to up the ante to actually seeing people in person. And somewhere in all that are the OL versus IRL friendships and how they work. Which is a different kettle of fish -- and leads to the story that you were just getting into your car the other day as I was getting out of mine at Sue's (did you hear how fast their house sold?) and I almost called out to you. But then I thought she's probably going to pick up kids or something and I don't really know her ... see the line? Does one every really met up with an ON friend IRL and not feel awkward. Bernie.

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

I read your words yesterday. But I couldn’t respond because I could feel the need to have this sit with me.

I recently let go a friend who I found leant in for advice, to share gruelling situations, and gather strategy for work/writing with. But I recognised this person always disappeared when great things happened for me. I love celebrating wins for friends so this felt out of whack. The other clue was that sharing finds in life from potential business through best pit spray for tweens was not reciprocated. An imbalance of sorts hung about.

I’ve been learning about what friendship means now which is different than how it was in the past. It’s fun!

I found your piece refreshing and triggered loads of thoughts I’m still digesting. Meantime, hugs to you.

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